I've written a book called '
The Secret Diary of a Male Submissive'. It's based entirely on real events from my life. I've changed names, places, and a few minor details for privacy - but everything that happens in the book actually happened.
It's not fiction. Every story in the book actually happened, taken from memories, notes, and journal entries I've kept over the years. Some parts are explicit, some are awkward, some are difficult - but all of it's real.
From confused childhood games and teenage obsessions to grown-up encounters that left bruises, marks, and emotional fallout. Most of it takes place during a few intense years when I was living in London, navigating casual play, long-term obsession, and moments that crossed the line between humiliation and intimacy.
If you're submissive yourself, or just interested in what male submission can actually look like in real life, this book might be for you. It's not about contracts, safe words or clubs. There's no latex, no dungeons, and nothing to do with Fifty Shades. It's about what happens when power dynamics creep into everyday life - when the woman in charge doesn't even think of herself as dominant, but you still end up doing exactly what she says.
The book covers everything from chastity and ballbusting to SPH, domestic control, objectification and denial - but more than the kinks themselves, it's about the feelings behind them. The psychology of submission. The craving to be used. The way power and attention can feel addictive when you're on the receiving end of it.
Some chapters are about women who knew exactly what they were doing - who enjoyed taking control. Others are about women who stumbled into power without meaning to. Emma, who I adored, never tied me up or gave me orders, but had me completely under her spell. Jade, who was cruel, commanding, and unpredictable. Sofia, who used me with complete confidence but didn't care about me at all. Keeley, who once shocked me in the balls during a movie screening at a Leicester Square cinema. None of this is made up.
I didn't write this book to create a perfect arc or to paint a clear picture of who I am. I wrote it because I wanted to get all this down in one place. These moments, these people, shaped who I am. I didn't want to forget them. I also think there's value in sharing a perspective that often gets overlooked. Most writing about BDSM either falls into fantasy or tries to teach something. This book doesn't do either. It just tells the truth.
I've called it 'The Secret Diary of a Male Submissive' because that's what it is. And now that it's finished and out in the world, I'm proud of what it is - an unfiltered, unapologetic account of what it's like to crave control, to find yourself beneath someone, and to want to stay there.
'The Secret Diary of a Male Submissive' is
available now from Amazon in paperback, as a Kindle ebook, and as an audiobook.
